Blackened Matches
by Tiki Rocket
Summary: some adult material. Lotsa angst. Nabiki Tendo fic. Please R/R!


Blackened Matches  
  
  
*opportunistic, sadistic Nabiki,* Nabiki thought bitterly to herself, watching the match pinched between her   
  
thumb and forefinger as it burned. *That's all I am to my family. All I am to the Saotomes'...* The small flame on the   
  
match quickly ate the cardboard stick it was limited to, leaving a crisp, blackened version of what it  
  
had been, bent and twisted out of proportion.  
  
*I'm a burning match,* Nabiki thought, mind's voice changing from bitter to hollow. *I'm a burning match, and the flame is my family and   
  
future in-laws twisting me into something wretched.* She blew out the flame, barely saving her fingers  
  
from injury, and wished she could do that to the people in her household.  
  
She stood up quickly, sighing in irritation. Kuno hadn't arrived. He'd said he would meet her there,  
  
and then they would share a touching moment in their secret place, where their families wouldn't see. Kodachi, Kuno's sister, hated the Tendo family, because they had Ranma; Nabiki's household all thought the Kunos were lunatics to be   
  
avoided.  
  
*I hate this starcrossed lovers crap,* she thought irritably. *I wish Ranma would leave. It'd   
  
probably solve our financial problems, not to mention my romantic issues. Someday, maybe, I won't have to hide my feelings towards Kuno from my relatives...*  
  
"I'm here, my love, my blossom, my-"  
  
"Shut up Kuno. You said you'd be here half an hour ago." Nabiki wasn't as annoyed as she sounded, but to the unknowing bystander, pissed wasn't strong enough to describe the tone of her voice.  
  
"I'm sorry, my peach, but my foolish sister was hounding me, wanting to know where I was going," Kuno replied, trying to be as sweet as possible. He knew she couldn't be that upset, but wasn't about to take a chance; for all he knew, it had been an exceptionally bad day for her.  
  
"Fine. Kiss me." Nabiki's demand proved it was not a bad day. Close, but not bad. He was in the clear.  
  
Twenty minutes later, the sun found the two laying in the grass in a park outside Nerima, staring skyward at the sparse clouds creeping across the sky. With her right hand,  
  
Nabiki was plucking blades of grass and shredding them, bit by bit. Her left hand rested in Kuno's.  
  
"I hate my family," Nabiki announced.  
  
"You've told me this many times, oh shrewd one."  
  
"I know. I had to say it again. You are the only one I ever talk to about it."  
  
"Am I the only one you trust?" Kuno asked, almost sounding hopeful.  
  
"No. I don't trust any one," Nabiki responded, determined to shoot him down. "I hardly even trust myself. You just get to listen to me complain."  
  
Kuno sighed. "At least I am worthy enough to hear your true feelings..." He never knew what to do about his girlfriend, or her mouth which was almost always   
  
shooting off; usually, a passive response was fitting, but what if more needed to be said?  
  
Nabiki glared at a passing cloud. She didn't trust. At all. Maybe that was her problem, her lack  
  
of trust. But she pushed that suggestion aside; Trusting would just make her more liable to things like-   
  
like-  
  
Like that.  
  
Even as her mind grazed that horrible moment in time, she violently brushed it aside, yanking up   
  
a good square five inches of grass and hurling it, dirt flying away from the earthen projectile.  
  
*Even after that, I still fell for a guy. Needless to say, a guy too stupid- or maybe even too respectful-  
  
to do something like that. But I still fell for him. Is that showing trust? No. I know why he's dating me.  
  
He can't get my sister, so he's going for the next best free thing. Her evil sister with the sadistic   
  
tendencies.*  
  
More angered thoughts swamped the badly jaded girl. She shifted, curling up next to Kuno and using   
  
his shoulder as a pillow, and resisted the urge to cry in frustration.  
  
*Don't cry, it's weakness. It's uncharacteristic of me. But what is characteristic? I don't even   
  
know who I am any more, or what I've turned into... A monster. A monster of a girl, who's burning away inside  
  
until she's hollow like one of those placid eyed chocolate rabbits you get at Easter...* She resisted the urge to grin  
  
at the bizarre comparison.   
  
She felt a hand rest on her and almost froze, then realized it was just Kuno. He sat up and pulled her onto  
  
his lap, and she buried her face in the crook between his neck and shoulder, arms now flung around his neck.  
  
*It may be hollow comfort, but it's something... It's more than what I get at home.*  
  
Kuno sat with his girlfriend in his arms, not sure if he should pull her closer, whisper something sweet, or just continue to hold her. He could feel her jaw clenching against his collar bone as she tried to keep from crying again. *She thinks I don't know something happened,* he thought to himself. *I don't know what it was, but I know someone hurt her... I won't let it happen again!* he resolved, resting his cheek against her soft hair. *I know I thought I loved Akane before... but the need of my dark, bitter angel is more  
  
endearing than the tough, self-affirmed sister. Akane doesn't need me... Nabiki does.* It was thoughts he'd  
  
had before; when he and Nabiki had first become a secret item, his mind had gone into torrents of "is this right?"  
  
His final realization was that Akane could handle herself, and when she couldn't, Ranma was there to back  
  
her up. He'd once thought Nabiki was fine on her own; It seemed she only wanted him around as a plaything  
  
at first. But as time had passed, he'd seen through her mask of indifference to the quiet desperation to keep her from losing her  
  
mind. Now, ll he could do was try to provide that stable ground for her. And secretly, maybe Kuno revelled in being needed as well.   
  
Kuno glanced at the watch he could barely see in his peripheral vision on Nabiki's wrist.   
  
"Dearest, it's 5 o'clock. Don't you need to get home?"  
  
"Yeah," Nabiki muttered into his neck, barely shifting. "Move your head, I need to get up."  
  
Kuno shifted, and Nabiki got up and brushed herself free of the wilted and drying grass.  
  
"I'll see you same time tomorrow," She said to him.  
  
"I love you." He said it mostly because he meant it, and partly to see her reaction.   
  
"Love you too," she said. She sounded unsure even as the words left her mouth, Kuno noted. He watched  
  
her walking towards her home, looking almost royal the way she carried herself. *A woman with such nobility,*  
  
he thought, and his heart pounded once, painfully. *She causes my heart to fly, sends it on a roller coaster  
  
through heaven and hell, and all without even trying.... The only woman to so truly capture my heart without even setting a trap... I love her, but I fear her...*  
  
*  
  
Nabiki walked into the house, putting on her normal stony expression in preparation for what might greet her.  
  
"Shut up, old man!"   
  
"Bowrrowowr!"  
  
"Oh, hello Nabiki, Genma and Ranma have been fighting too close to the pond again," Kasumi said   
  
pleasantly. She was such a picture perfect representation of the girls' mother it was almost scary. On more  
  
than one occaision (*Especially THAT one...*) Nabiki had wanted to go to Kasumi and tell her everything that  
  
had happened, even break down and cry in front of her, but she had stopped herself. Kasumi seemed just as   
  
placid as the chocolate rabbits, and equally as empty headed. She probably would've told Daddy, and Daddy   
  
wouldn't have reacted well...  
  
"Dinner's almost ready, Nabiki, come sit down!" Kasumi called. "Akane!..."  
  
Nabiki seated herself. Dinner time always had it's melodramatics; That night was Akane, Ranma, and  
  
Genma fighting over the last roll, and a small accident with a cup of hot green tea. Ranma wasn't too badly   
  
burned, and it had narrowly missed Akane.   
  
"You moron!" Ranma hollered.  
  
"I'M The moron?! YOU'RE the one who's not curteous enough to let a lady have the last roll!"  
  
"I'm just trying to keep you from getting any fatter than you already are!"  
  
"What?! Ranma Saotome, I'm gonna get you!!"  
  
"You dumb girl, you'll never catch me that- whoops!" SPLASH. "What'd you do that for?!"  
  
Nabiki finished the last bits of food on her plate and dismissed herself to her room. Ordinarily   
  
she'd sit and watch the evening battles, but she was in a brooding mood, and didn't feel like watching. Instead,  
  
she pulled her covers over her head and tried to block out the noise.  
  
Rape.  
  
The word slammed itself into her brain, as it did every now and then when she was alone. It was rape,   
  
and it was a stranger who'd done it. She curled up into a ball again, wrapping the blankets around her shoulders  
  
tightly, which almost felt like Kuno's arms shielding her. But it couldn't block out the memories.  
  
It was like having to watch it on replay. Every single part of it played itself out for her again, and  
  
she couldn't do anything except lay there and wait for it to end. It was like getting raped all over again,   
without even being touched. She hated every minute of it, but couldn't do anything about it, and she refeused   
  
tell anyone; It was shameful, it was horrible, it would make her look worse than she already was, and above all   
  
it would sound like she was turning into a self-martyr. She despised those ridiculous people, using their pain as an excuse, and Nabiki didn't want  
  
to become that.   
*It's almost over,* a part of her thought. *It'll be over in a moment.* It was the only thing  
  
keeping her from screaming in pain as the flames inside destroyed her, twisting like those matches from earlier  
  
that day and on many days before. Writhing, and not being able to do anything, changing her into that horrible  
  
thing she'd become, made boys afraid of her, made people veer away because she was "Bad company".   
  
Hatred was left. That was all. Hatred, anger, and tears. Love was a deep sense of sorrow and happiness was a hollow feeling. Emptiness was her only peace, and that peace came only when dreaming, but when there's nothing more than nightmares...  
  
"Nabiki?"  
  
*What..?*  
  
The memory dissipated into darkness, and Nabiki pulled the covers down so she could see.  
  
"Kuno, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I... I had to see you." He was almost blushing as he slid quietly through her window.  
  
"If Ranma finds you here you're gonna be in trouble," she muttered.  
  
"I don't care," He said. "I came here to see you... I don't know why,   
  
but I had to. And I saw you laying there- you looked almost vulnerable-"  
  
*Oh no,* she thought, almost panicking. *He saw me like that-*   
  
Something in her broke. She felt exhausted. She was tired of hiding, tired of   
  
acting, tired of everything. *So what if he saw me?* echoed through her. *Maybe I need to tell him.  
  
Maybe I need to tell someone. Maybe he's here to listen.*  
  
He had moved to sit by her, arms around her smaller form. She slumped against him, relaxing for the first time in ages, unable to hold the weight weighing on her mind by herself anymore.  
  
She began to cry.  
  
Kuno felt her warm tears on his shirt, and relaxed a little. "Nabiki?"   
  
"Kuno... I'm- I'm sorry. I don't know what to do... I'm so confused, and I'm so afraid to   
  
tell anyone..."  
  
"Tell me what troubles you, my love, and I will do all I can to fix it."  
  
For the first time, she believed him when he said it. She took a deep, shuddering breath, and told him everything.  
  
Kuno sat quietly and listened to her. She was trusting him. He was finally learning why she always seemed on the edge of desperation. When he heard it, he could've beaten himself for not figuring it out sooner.   
  
"Nabiki..."  
  
She looked at him, eyes red and full of tears she'd buried for so long, and she looked so forlorn...   
  
Kuno pulled her close, wishing he could show her how much he cared, make her understand how he felt.  
  
"I'm so sorry that had to happen to you," he said, settling for words. "If I could find the bastard who did that, my sweet,   
  
I would kill him in your honor, and bring justice back to your name. But I cannot, and I do not know how to   
  
make it up to you. But please, accept my love. I'll protect you from that ever happening again, I swear it.   
  
I don't care what your family says. I will always be there for you."  
  
Nabiki's heart pounded. Everything that had happened, everything that was happening- Kuno, his  
  
kind words, his gentleness, his oaths, what she'd just done, this sudden feeling of trust- it connected all at once. She felt her mind go numb, and her vision faded.  
  
Nabiki Tendo fainted.  
  
  
*  
  
  
When she woke up, it was to the grey before dawn. *I must have been out all night,* she thought, glaring   
  
at the clock. The window was still open from when Kuno had come through. She was covered with blankets.  
  
*Kuno must've put me in bed. I wish he'd stayed with me...* She sat up, got off the bed, headed   
  
towards the door-  
  
And almost tripped over Kuno.  
  
He was asleep on her floor, Bouken gripped tightly in his hand. She looked at him in suprise for a long   
  
moment, then bent down and shook his shoulder gently.  
  
"Kuno?"  
  
"Hmphrm..."  
  
"Kuno..."  
  
"Erhm.. Hm?"  
  
"You stayed here all night?"  
  
"I did?"  
  
Oh, the wonders of morning amnesia.  
  
"Well you're here, aren't you?"  
  
He blinked, then nodded.  
  
"And some how Kasumi neglected to check on me... She must've thought I wasn't feeling well."  
  
"You weren't." Kuno's blunt remark told her he wasn't his usual poetic self in the mornings.  
  
"Kuno."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Thank you."  
  
He blinked in surprise. Even morning amnesia doesn't erase memories of Nabiki's usual lack of gratitude for anything. He sat up and kissed her, holding her gently in his arms.  
  
"I love you," she whispered when they broke the kiss. "I love you." She smiled at him, eyes almost misting up. "I love you. I love you. Thank you."  
  
Kuno blinked several times, obviously bewildered. It wasn't like Nabiki to show emotion like this.   
  
But then, after last night, maybe something had changed?  
  
He didn't know. Nor did he care. Instead, he pulled her into another kiss.  
  
When they broke, he gave his reply:  
  
"I love you the way roses love the morning, feeling the glowing radiance of the sun after a long   
  
night in darkness, a sudden piercing light that shines truth, banishing lies back to the rocks from under  
  
which they've crawled..."  
  
He went on for a few minutes in his slightly off- key poetry. Nabiki smiled, enjoying his babble.  
  
"You are my beautiful, tragic angel, my reason for living. You are that thing I've been searching   
  
for. I've finally found you... " he smiled,"and I'll never let you go."  
  
Nabiki pulled Kuno to his feet, then pushed him down on the bed, lay next to him, and pulled the covers to her chin. "Let's go back to sleep," she murmured, snuggling closer to him. He rested an arm around her.  
  
As Nabiki slipped into a dream, part of her wondered absently "I wonder what Kasumi will say?..." She smiled faintly, and fell asleep. 


End file.
